Needing my therapist

I'm sad all of a sudden. I mean really sad. I want to call my therapist. I want my mom. Stupid bipolar. :(

I'm feeling very self destructive right now. My blood sugar is a little high and seeing it high makes me want to drive it up even higher. Dangerous levels higher. I could do it easily. I have medicine that will do it. That part of my brain that is my enemy is very active and very loud tonight.

I know I should find ways to distract myself. Get myself through, for lack of a better word, the cravings. The urges. But that part of me is so loud, telling me "no... do it. You'll feel better once you do it."

I need my therapist. Unfortunately it's the weekend and I have to wait until Monday to see her. That feels like forever from now. I know it's only 1 day, but still... I have this sense of urgency that I have to see her. I need to see her.