Injections

They're thinking about giving me antipsychotic injections now. I'd spoken with my therapist and told her how the irrational thinking never completely goes away and she emailed my doctor. I see him on Thursday. He's going to discuss the injections with me.

I'll have to admit I got a little paranoid when she emailed him because every other time she's ever emailed anyone about me with me in the room, she told me what the email said. This time she didn't. And even though I couldn't read it, I could see that it was a fairly long email. I want to know what she said to him. I know if I ask him, he'll just summarize it for me. That's what he's done in the past when someone has spoken to him about me.

I'll do the injections, if that's what they want me to do. I just want this voice in my head to go away that tells me to do hurtful things to myself, that I'm invincible, that the world isn't real.... and so forth.

On another note, I'm worried about Jessica. She's going through a very hard time right now and I hope that she'll be ok. I wish I could be there for her, but I'm half a continent away from her and all I can offer are words either over a phone or over the internet. I have her in my thoughts and in my heart. That's all I can do for her right now, even though it feels like it's not enough.